transgender

11 Weeks Post Hysto

So, I never did have my post op appointment, unfortunately, and now I’m on the East coast. Nothing happened since the last time I updated. The spotting is entirely gone now! I theoretically would have been cleared to lift at 8 weeks post-op. Fortunately, that timeline worked out well with my move to the DC area. I had to move quite a few heavy boxes of books. I didn’t notice any discomfort or pain.

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13 Boxes of Books!

I start my new job (internship) on Monday. I just arrived to the area on yesterday afternoon. My road trip didn’t work out quite as I had planned, but luckily I left enough time for exactly that reason. My mom was supposed to drive with me, but something came up on her end, so I ended up making the drive by myself (with Harry, of course). It meant that I drove fewer hours per day.

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My copilot sleeping on the job

Anyway, my new job is covering health insurance for me, so I may try to find a doctor that will do a post op examination, but I’m not really sure it’s necessary. I’m not a medical expert though, so I don’t really know.

I am going to check out two gyms this week, on Thursday and Friday, so we’ll see how lifting goes. I’ll have to ease back into it since I’ve been out of the gym for 3 months now.

In other news, I finally get to live with my husband, after spending about a year and a half apart. I’m not really sure about living in this area of the country, but only time will tell on that front. I’m going to be a Federal employee, and the news that came out of the Trump Administration regarding anti-discrimination for sexual orientation and gender identity has me really wary. I’m pretty visibly trans on my social media profiles, so I’ll have to really scrutinize any future co-workers who try to add me on Facebook and Instagram (since they’re connected). I don’t want to be stealth, but I also don’t want to be discriminated against.

I’m still hopeful though! Even though I lived in San Francisco which is pretty liberal, I didn’t like my job. I felt like I was wasting all my hard earned education and experience, so I’m glad to have this opportunity. At the same time, I’m nervous that I may not perform well. I’m fairly new to computer science and programming. I’ve done programming over the years, but for a class here or there, or small projects in labs that I’ve worked in. I’ve never done it as my sole job or within a team of other programmers, so it’ll definitely be an experience. I’m just going to work hard and do the best I can.

Speaking of, I need to get back to doing my homework. Another unfortunate thing about driving across the country by myself is that I didn’t get to work on my school work as I had planned, so now I’m a bit behind, but I have a few days to get caught up and hopefully get ahead.

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My face after the end of my road trip (finally)

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3 Weeks Post Hysto

(Trigger warning: blood mention)

I’m three weeks post-op today! I was supposed to have a post-op appointment on Friday, but something came up and my surgeon had to cancel. I think I’ll be scheduling an appointment for two weeks from now.

I did, however, have an appointment with my primary care physician. I got my T levels checked out. It turns out that my T levels doubled from the last time I had them checked in August. So, it seems like the hysterectomy was certainly effective. My levels haven’t varied that wildly during my nearly 4 years on testosterone. I reduced my dose by approximately half (it’s hard to gauge exactly because the syringes aren’t graduated that finely – the particular syringes I have are only graduate 100 microliter/.1 milliliter intervals) starting this week, so we’ll see how that turns out in a few months, I suppose.

Back to surgery recovery, everything has been pretty great on that end. I will note that I was slightly freaked out due to the amount of bleeding that occurred. Up until now, I’ve only had very minimal spotting. However, last night, I did my normal nightly routine of taking Harry out for a 15 minute walk, then taking a shower. When I got out of the shower, I dried off and noticed some blood on my towel after wiping off. It was bright red too, so I knew it was fresh. At this point, it only started getting heavier. I spent like the next hour reading forums on my phone while I laid in my bed. I got up several times to see what the quantity of blood was. Fortunately, it died down within an hour, but I was kind of panicking about whether I’d have to go in to the ER and/or have emergency surgery to close up some sutures that opened up.

I’m back to “normal” now. It gradually reduced down throughout the day to what it had been previously. The best guess from what I read is that the internal stitching is beginning to dissolve, and that’s what caused the bleeding. I’ll definitely bring it up during my post-op appointment. If anything else comes up before then, I’ll likely write an email to the surgeon as well.

Given everything though, I’m still really grateful that I’m in a position to do this, and my recovery has been really easy compared to others I’ve heard/read about.

School started back up last week, and I returned to work today. I guess that means it’s time to get back into the swing of things while lifting less than 15 lbs for the next 5 weeks.

Quick Post Op Update

I’m a week post op as of today. Oh how time flies when you’re doing nothing, haha. I’ve actually had to force myself to not do too much. It’s kind of hard. This surgery and recovery has been really easy for me. I started taking Harry out for his walks about 24 hours post op with no problems. I’ve gradually been increasing the distances we go on our walks.

I honestly feel like I could go back to work tomorrow if I really wanted, but I don’t. Work has become kind of unbearable lately – not because of the work though. But that’s a story for another time.

Anyway, I think I’ll just stick to taking my three weeks off so I can take care of some stuff I’ve been putting off. Also, next week is the first week of school, so I can use my time off to get off to a good start.

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Oh yeah, the bloating is pretty much gone. Still waiting on the steri-strips to come off, though.

Surgery Scheduled

A really short follow-up to my post last week: I have been playing phone tag with the surgery coordinator for the last week. I finally just wrote a message through Kaiser’s secure messaging system letting them know what my availability is for the next couple of months. They responded today and let me know they put me down for January 9th!

3.5 Years on T + More Surgery

In my last post (which was about 2 months ago), I mentioned that I had an appointment scheduled for Kaiser’s mental health evaluation and a consult/examination with the gynecologist who primarily deals with transgender patients. Well, the appointments had to be rescheduled because one of them had to cancel, but I finally had my appointments last week.

Everything went really smoothly. I spoke to the mental health person first, and he basically asked questions about my history, coming out, transgender stuff, etc. and about my support network here in San Francisco. Then, I was passed on to the gynecologist who had information from the mental health person and my primary care physician. She knew why I was there already, so we talked about my options for a hysterectomy and the risks of removing my ovaries, as well. She was basically ensuring that I knew that I would not be able to have biological kids if I had my ovaries removed and would have to stay on testosterone until at least 50 years old. All of this I’m completely fine with.

So, basically now, I’m at the stage where I need to talk to her office to schedule my hysto! Her office actually called me twice last week, but of course, I was at work. I’ll have to find time next week to call her office on one of my breaks from work. But, I think my surgery could be as soon as sometime next month! We’ll see how it all works out. I’d love for it to be next month, but I may end up going for the beginning of January, depending on if I can get approved for short-term disability from work or not.

Not much else is going on as far as transition stuff is concerned. I am looking for a new job or internship. I had to do a video interview last week and decided to shave to look more presentable. Here’s a couple of pictures of my face after a week of growth:

Name Change Folly

It’s been nearly 3 years since I went through the legal process of getting my name changed, and I’m still dealing with getting documents updated.

For my pending job offer, I needed to submit verification of my high school diploma or GED, college transcripts, and work experience.

I couldn’t find my high school certificate, so I sent in a request along with copies of my court order for my name change. I got a call when they received my request saying that I’d have to send my court order somewhere else to be approved to update my name. I said fine and just asked if they could send my certificate as is so I could get on with the employment process.

The person who contacted me then sent me an email with information on what paperwork I needed to get my name updated and where to send it. One of the pieces of documentation was a note from my doctor indicate my name and gender change. 

Now, if you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you’re wondering what my gender change has to do with the name on my records.

I responded:

I do have a question about the doctor’s note. My original doctor’s note was submitted to the court when I filed my petition for a name and gender change; therefore, I do not have a doctor’s note. Also, the doctor that wrote the note worked for Student Health Services at UCSD. I’m no longer a student there, and she no longer works there, so I have no way to contact her. Shouldn’t the court order be sufficient?

And here’s where things get ridiculous (her response):

Would you have copies of your doctor’s notes, that you may have kept for your reference, before you submitted the originals to the court. Also, wondering if you could check with the hospital where the surgery was performed for some type of documentation. This will come in handy for your future needs as well.

Please let me know.

Thank you and have a nice day!

It took me two days to muster a response that wasn’t just me going completely off on her. I still get extremely mad just thinking about it.

All my other legal documents are updated, to include my social security card, birth certificate, driver’s license, passport, etc. All these documents already indicate the gender that I am. I am completely dumbfounded at how this would even be necessary for a high school equivalency certificate. My college degrees don’t indicate gender on them, so why would a high school certificate?

And then there’s the issue that she implied that surgery is necessary for a gender change. I don’t know if it’s just plain ignorance or lack of training or what? But the whole situation is beyond my comprehension.

I responded to the best of my ability, and we’ll see what comes of it. I also sent an email asking about the process to update my name to an email address I could find which I think belongs to the person who will actually be approving my name change.

I can’t wait until my old name is gone for good. I still need to update my DD214 (military discharge papers), but up until recently, I thought that it wasn’t possible.

 

3 Years on T

I hit three years on T yesterday. I don’t have much to say transition wise, so I’ll just throw up a couple of pictures.

I did post a little blurb on my Instagram here.

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I tried to grow out my facial hair for two months, but ended up trimming it for the interview I had about three weeks ago.

In other news, I finally (almost) got a job offer as a Lab Tech for the City of San Francisco. I’m just finishing up the pre-employment vetting process right now. I’ve sent them verification of my education and experience, and now I’m just waiting to get scheduled for a medical exam. I already put in my two weeks at Whole Foods, so I’ll be done with that shortly. And, my lease on my new place begins May 15th, so I’m free to move up there once that begins.

It’s funny how life works out. I had pretty much stopped applying to jobs within my field and was only applying to computer science internships. I actually got offered one internship and I’m in the running for two others. I will be working on my degree while working, so I’m confident that in a couple of years, I’ll be able to get a job as a software engineer.

Anyway, since I’ll be working for the city I’ll be getting pretty decent pay and have great benefits, including insurance. I’m hoping once everything gets settled, we’ll finally be able to afford top surgery for Alex and a hysto for me (and him).

Everything has been moving so quickly the last week or two. It’s been a little overwhelming, but I’m also extremely happy and relieved. I’m also sad at the same time though. I’ve become really close with people from my gym over the past 2 and a half years. It’s going to be tough to leave a place that I’ve called home for so long. They have been there for me for nearly my whole transition. I’ve gotten nothing but love and support from them. It’s going to be hard going to a new place where no one knows my journey and how hard I’ve worked to get to where I am now. I hope I can find a gym that is as welcoming as the one I’m at now.

I’m also leaving the city that I’ve lived in for 11 years now. I consider this place home more than the city I grew up in. I hope someday I can make my way back here (and Alex too!). I am glad to finally be making some progress career-wise, and I hope it leads to me being able to be with Alex soon.

On to new adventures though!