post op

Quick Post Op Update

I’m a week post op as of today. Oh how time flies when you’re doing nothing, haha. I’ve actually had to force myself to not do too much. It’s kind of hard. This surgery and recovery has been really easy for me. I started taking Harry out for his walks about 24 hours post op with no problems. I’ve gradually been increasing the distances we go on our walks.

I honestly feel like I could go back to work tomorrow if I really wanted, but I don’t. Work has become kind of unbearable lately – not because of the work though. But that’s a story for another time.

Anyway, I think I’ll just stick to taking my three weeks off so I can take care of some stuff I’ve been putting off. Also, next week is the first week of school, so I can use my time off to get off to a good start.

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Oh yeah, the bloating is pretty much gone. Still waiting on the steri-strips to come off, though.

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23 Months on T, 9 Months Post Op

Just a quick top surgery/transition update.

Top Surgery:

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The top two are from 3 months post op, and the bottom two are from 9 months post op. Not much change in scar color, but I think they’re about as thick as they’re going to get now. Some parts of them have definitely flattened out and feel pretty soft, but other parts are raised and could definitely use some massaging. I’ve started using Mederma on them recently. I used Kelocote in the beginning, but when I ran out, I stopped. We’ll see if it makes a noticeable difference.

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I posted this photo comparison to my Facebook timeline the other day and received an overwhelming amount of support from my friends, family, and fellow CrossFitters and weightlifters. It was a pretty good feeling. I’m really happy with the progress I’ve been making the past few months since top surgery. I’m also excited to see my future progress. But more importantly, I’ve noticed that I’ve been feeling more and more comfortable in my body and I’m actually less concerned than I used to be with how I look. I still think about it, but it’s different now than it used to be. I’m less worried about looking feminine or having wide hips or a big butt or thick thighs, and more just think about being generally healthy and working towards being able to lift more weight. That can be kind of a rabbit hole too, because I get in my head comparing myself to other guys, but I can at least look back on my old lifts and old PRs and see that I am making objective progress.

Face:

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Left to right, top to bottom: 8 months, 17 months, 23 months on T

My hair is definitely starting to fill in and some is even coming in on the cheeks now. I think in a couple more years, I’ll have a pretty nice beard. The last 6 months I’ve definitely noticed quite a bit of growth.

In other news:

I got a temporary job that I’ll be starting soon that’s sort of in my field (it’s at least science related). I’ll be happy to spend less time at Whole Foods, but I’ll continue working there on the weekends. I’ll still need my job there once my temp job is over. It’s only for 3 months, sadly, but I hope it will boost my resume a little bit.

I don’t know if I’ve just never noticed this before in my daily life, or if it’s just the people I work with, but the people there use very gendered language. My coworkers say “sir” to the guys all the time, even the guys say it to each other. It’s also a very boys against girls atmosphere. It actually makes me really uncomfortable sometimes. I don’t think I’ve been that oblivious to gendered language and such in the past, so I think it may just be this particular environment. I guess I’ll find out when I move on to other jobs. I just wanted to make a note of it to reflect on later one.

18 Months on T

I can’t believe it’s been a year and a half already. Time is definitely going more quickly now. I’ve been keeping myself busy with looking for a job, and this week was particularly hectic on that front. I attended a couple of workshops for resume writing and how to get recruited, a job fair, a tour at a company I’d like to work for, and had a phone interview for a job that I didn’t apply to. This is definitely the most productive week I’ve had since I’ve started looking for a job. I finally feeling like I’m making some progress. Up until now, I’ve just been applying online to job postings and not hearing anything back. It feels good to finally have some sort of contact instead of just sending my resume into the black hole that is known as the “applicant tracking system.”

I will admit though, it’s nice to have only one thing on my plate. I finally feel like I’m at a point in my transition where it’s not something that I’m thinking about constantly. It doesn’t take up valuable mental and emotional space that would take away from my job search like it took away from my ability to focus on my classes while I was in school. There are still things that I would like to do, in regards to transition, such as a hysterectomy/oophorectomy and possibly metoidioplasty. However, those things don’t weigh on my in the same way that waiting for top surgery did. If they happened within the next couple of years, I’d be happy, but I don’t feel like it’s a necessity.

In other news, I finally got a suit that I feel comfortable in. It’s probably the first time I’ve looked at myself in whatever articles of clothing I’m wearing and the first thing that came to my mind wasn’t the fact that I hated how wide my hips were. That’s definitely an improvement for me.

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I wore this to the job fair I attended on Wednesday. It was a little stressful since it was only my second time tying a tie (the first being when I got married almost a year and a half ago, and I did a horrible job that time). Not to mention, I only attempted to learn about half an hour before I had to be heading out the door. I think it ended up turning out pretty good though, all things considered. I was definitely one of the better dressed there at the job fair, so that’s a plus.

Anyway, I thought I’d post some comparison photos from pre-T to now.

Front Arms Crossed Pre to 18

Back Pre to 18

This last one is just over 1 month post op to just over 4 months post op. It’s definitely nice to see the changes from working out are becoming more apparent.

Front Post Op 1 to 4Hopefully I get a job soon and be able to share some insight into the process while being trans. I am slightly concerned when it comes to background checks and having to answer if I’ve gone by any other names. I’m sure it will work out. I wouldn’t want to work for anyone that would be a problem for… but at some point, I do have to pay my bills and start paying my student loans.

Until next time.