graduating

Six Weeks

Today was my fourth injection of testosterone, but I was in such a rush this morning to get ready to go meet my group before our group presentation. I think I’m finally getting to the point where not every injection is such a huge milestone, or maybe I was just busy.

Today was essentially the culmination of my studies over the past 6 years. The second half of this quarter, my lab partners had to come up with an idea for our senior lab project and execute this idea. Needless to say, we have been working very hard to ensure that we obtained desirable results, particularly in the last two weeks. I have been working nearly every day and night on this project in some form or another. Anyway, this morning was the day that we had to present our results to our professors, classmates, and other students, both grad and undergrad.

We were also told to dress nicely since the department wanted to take a class photo because we are the first graduating class from the nanoengineering program. This caused a bit of anxiety of me. I was stressing about what to wear and how it would appear to other people. I’m not out to anyone at school still, besides the grad student that I work closely with. I asked what other people were wearing for this day; the two girls told me they were wearing dresses and the guys said they would be wearing slacks and a dress shirt. Yesterday, I went through all my nice clothes, trying on different combinations of shirts and pants. I decided that none of them were satisfactory because all the pants were from a time when I thought bigger was better. By this time, I was feeling discouraged, so I decided to head to the mall and try on some clothes. I tried on a variety of pants, different styles and sizes, along with shirts of different tailoring. I was on my last shirt and pants that I was going to try on before giving up and just accepting that I was going to look like complete crap. Then, I tried on the last pair of pants and shirt, and it was like magic. I looked in the mirror and was extremely happy with what I saw.

Even though I felt extremely good and confident in my new clothes, I was still concerned about what my classmates would say about my appearance. In all previous presentations, I’ve worn nicer jeans and a women’s button-up shirt. I walked into the conference room worried about the opinions of others. In the end though, I got nothing but compliments, and as far as my knowledge goes, no one looked at me strangely or anything like that. I definitely feel like this is a huge step forward in my transition.

All in all, our presentation went really well. It was definitely our best one of the year. I feel like a weight has lifted off my shoulders. The only thing left to do is write my paper on our senior project and take a final for my other class. I feel like I’m already done though!

As for physical changes, I really don’t have much to report since last week. One thing I did want to note though is that it’s been 40 days since the start of my last period. My periods have always sort of been on a slightly longer cycle than what is considered normal, usually about 33 days between the start of each one. Anyway, I started my period 3 days after my first testosterone shot, and I haven’t had one since. I’ve heard that it typically stops after about 3 months, but I’m hoping that mine is atypical and just doesn’t ever come again, hah.

That’s about it for this week. I’m considering making only biweekly or monthly transition related updates from now on. We’ll see what happens.

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