Doctor’s Appointment

Tomorrow I have my first doctor’s appointment.  I’m so anxious for this.  I don’t know how to say, “I’m transgender and would like to start hormone treatment as soon as possible.”  Is it as easy as that?  I don’t know.  I guess I’ll find out tomorrow when I’m sitting in a chair across from the doctor.  From the sounds of it, this doctor will be extremely helpful in this process of transitioning.  I have been in contact with the director of the LGBT Resource Center at my school.  He has been nothing but helpful in giving me answers to every question that I have had.  Top surgery and hormones should be covered by my school insurance which is just incredible to me.  Along these lines, I had a break down this weekend.  I am so ready to transition that the thought of having to wait until I could donate my eggs so that Alex could get pregnant was eating away at me.  I couldn’t bear the idea of having to wait until after his deployment, then going through the whole IVF process.  Who knows how long it would have taken for him to actually become pregnant?  I finally told him how I was feeling about the whole thing.  I was feeling extremely selfish for wanting to throw away our plans because I want this transition so badly, but of course, he understands.  We are now discussing adoption, which seems like a much better option for both of us, both personally and financially.  He wasn’t exactly thrilled about carrying the baby and having to put his transition on hold either.  Adoption should be cheaper than the particular type of pregnancy we wanted, so it seems like a win-win.  We even did some research on the adoption process in California and looked at some agencies that worked with transgender people.  It all sounds very promising, and it definitely seems like the better decision for our situation.

All in all, I’m excited/anxious for my doctor’s appointment tomorrow and hopefully will come out with a clear plan for the next couple of months.  I wish that I could just get testosterone tomorrow, but I know that won’t happen.