2 Years on T

I can’t believe it’s been two years already. I don’t even know what to say.

I posted the following to my Facebook timeline:

I wanted to share with everyone the changes that I’ve gone through in the past two years.

I’ve been lucky enough to receive hormone treatment and have my surgery mostly covered by insurance. There are many people in my situation who are not as fortunate, so I’m grateful for the opportunities that I’ve had.

The changes I’ve been through have been crazy and incredible. When I was younger, I never thought I could be as comfortable in my body as I am now. I’ve worked really hard, particularly in the past year and a half in the gym to change my body in ways I could never have imagined. But as I’ve mentioned before, I’ve worked even harder to accept and love my body the way it is.

I think it’s important to note that while I post these pictures, I think some more important changes I’ve experienced are the increase in my self-confidence and self-esteem. I finally feel like my body and mind are in alignment. I feel a lot more comfortable with how interact with the world and other people. I would have never been able to post pictures like this before. I would have been too embarrassed of the way I looked and felt about my body.

It took a long time for me to figure out that this was the path I needed to take. Part of that was because there just wasn’t a lot of trans representation. I didn’t even know that transitioning was a possibility. Then, one day, a friend posted a one year video montage of a transgender man’s transition. At that point, everything just clicked. I must have watched that video 10 more times that night. The way he described how he knew he was trans was everything I felt. I knew then that I had to transition. That’s part of the reason I want to share this with my friends and family. I think it’s important to have different experiences and perspectives out there. By sharing my experiences, I hope that someday I can help someone who was in my situation.

I have mostly kept to myself during my transition. I think I’ve posted two (three max) transition related posts over the past two years. As I said, I think it’s important to share my experiences. I’m fortunate enough to not feel in danger by sharing my transgender identity. So, the more that I can put myself out there and show people that transgender folks are just like everyone else, the better. I know trans people are all over the media today, but sometimes I think it’s hard to really relate to others unless you know them personally. I feel like if you know someone personally who has a different life experience than you, they will have a greater impact on you than just seeing someone on TV or in a news article.

Anyway, I think that mostly sums up my feelings of being two years on testosterone. I’m in a place where I really feel comfortable putting myself out there.

As an aside, I was completely stealth while I was working at Whole Foods (I just had my last shift last night, woo!). In some ways, I liked just being “one of the guys” without any caveats, but at the same time, it made it hard for me to really feel comfortable. There were a couple of times were I almost outed myself just in normal conversation talking about experiences I’ve had in the past or whatever, and I had to catch myself. I think it’s definitely something that should be considered on a case by case basis for me, depending on the comfort level I feel with the people around me.

And with that I’ll end this post with photo comparisons!

FaceBackArms CrossedFlexed

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2 comments

  1. There were definitely times before I started my own transition in which I was a little jealous to see you going through so many changes that I also longed for, but those were few and short lived because watching you transition also made me so excited for you and proud of you. That pride and happiness for you more than overpowered any jealous thoughts. You have really lead the way for me in so many ways. I wouldn’t be where I am today if it wasn’t for your courage and determination setting the example for me. It is amazing how much has changed for you, physically and mentally, over the last 2 years and I know there’s still so much more to look forward to in your transition. Your story is far from over, and I’m glad that I can be there to watch it unfold.

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