Awkward Bathroom Time

Today was my first day back at school after being gone all last week for my trip to Washington. I was waiting for my lab partners to show up this morning to the lab. I decided to go to the bathroom to put lotion on my tattoo since I didn’t know what had been done last week or what needed to be done for this week. I walked into the women’s bathroom and a woman was walking out of the stall at the end of the bathroom. She looked at me and asked, “What do you want? Are you looking for something?” I said “no” and went about my business, and she hurried out of the bathroom. It was really unexpected for me. I feel like I don’t look very manly still, and I’ve been used to people apologizing to me for misgendering me when they hear me speak. It felt good to be identified as male, but brings up larger issues.

I have only come out to one person at school so far. I’m kind of biding my time until graduation to come out. Most of the people who know me will be moving on to either grad school at different schools or finding jobs in industry. This will leave me with a much smaller group of people that I have to deal with in regards to coming out. Until then, I guess I will have to deal with women in the bathroom who don’t know me and are confused by my presence. I’m still really anxious about coming out to people at school and work, but hopefully after July 5th, I will have legal proof that I am male and that will help me make my work/school transition.

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